Adult Friends

Recently I started checking out some of those adult match making sites. Okay, maybe I should start from the beginning.

Nearly two years ago, my partner started playing the SIMS2 game. She got hooked. Before you could spell Maxis, she was making mods and getting into the whole community thing.

Long story short, she'd rather do that on the weekends than some of the activities I'd prefer. I wanted us to go out and get our open water diving certification, learn surfing, go hiking ... but she's not interested. In the end she told me to find someone else to do these activities with.

So, I asked the usual suspects among my group of friends and colleagues - but that wasn't fruitful. Thus I thought I'd give these sites a go to seek out potential new friends interested in the same thing.

Since I've also started traveling interstate for work again, I thought it might be good to open the net out for people to catch up with when traveling.

So, I hit a few sites and spend some time wrtting up profile that is pretty specific about what I'm after. Turns out I may as well not have bothered - but not the way you think!

Seems that regardless of what you write, people will begin contacting you willy nilly. In the last three days I've been contacted by a girl who's into public sex, another who wanted someone to humiliate her, a couple that wanted a bi-guy to join them and today harassed by some guy who wanted me to bonk his wife!

Even the so called friend finder network is not safe from these ... people ... of differing persuasions.

In the chat channels of friend finder, there seems to be too many guys (but yes a few gals too) who are way too interested in bonking each others brains out. Hey, good for them. It does however mean that it is difficult for someone like me to create friendships because everyone is too busy thinking with their libido or so used to battling them - its now reflex.

I think part of the problem I face is that I am in a strange space at the moment. I'm 32 and I have the experiences of most 40-somethings, the restleness of a 20 year old and I think my body is siding with my experiences when it comes too appearance and ailments.

Maybe this is what they call a mid-life crisis?

The other problem I have is that I'm a walking contradiction. Part of me is a traditionalist, another an eternal optimist, yet another a bitter cynic and finally a hapless romantic.

Within the context of this rave it translates to me thinking back to the chat systems of the BBS' of the 80's, the birth of synchronous chat and its supercedence by IRC at the turn of the 90's ... mainly I think about how they were community minded, how people remembered that someone was behind a keyboard on the other side of that screen name and how true friends could be created from those rooms.

Heck I was the best man to someone I met online and still consider one of my closest friends.

I miss that world and wish it could be like that again. Yet part of me wants to see what the future holds and what bubble of surprises and new experiences are in store for me.

Maybe I just need to chill - akuna mattana - and see if this tree will bear fruit.