Monday, July 11, 2005

of 40 Km/h School Zones and Internet censorship

WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING!
This entry will disturb most parents - please do not read further if you have or are planning to have children.
WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING!

There is a growing trend that disturbs me - parents are relying on society to raise their children.
It's not just the odd example either, it's everywhere you go. Everything you do is somehow affected by this ever increasing trend.

Now, I know that in the long forgotten past of our species we lived in cave communities and that we, as primitive cave dwelling folk, tended to look after all the offspring as a collective. However, I'd like to point out that, with the obvious exceptions, we have moved on from there.

If you decide to have a child, then bloody well look after the fscking thing!

If you decided to give you're little brat a computer and internet access, without supervising them, utilising net nanny or some other form of content filter then tough titties if they stumble across a porn site and ask you embarrassing or difficult questions.

Would you give your kid $100.00 and let them walk around the CBD? Heck for a cool C-note they can access a lot more from the local 7-11 or newsagent than they can from anything online. Heck, should we go and close down every legitimate business out there that differs from your set of personal values and beliefs?

So it is with School Zones, why should I have my trip to work extended by up to 40 minutes because the kids may not watch what they're doing and run across the road? Why should I look out for your offspring in case they leap over the roadside barriers? Why shouldn't natural evolution, pure Darwinian theory play out in this situation?

IF YOUR CHILD IS TOO STUPID TO NOT TAKE NOTICE OF THE ROAD RULES, JUMPED OVER ROAD SIDE BARRIERS AND GETS HIT BY A CAR THEN IT IS FOR THE BETTERMENT OF THE SPECIES.

Another thing ... when you take your brats with you to restaurants, or reception centers, or any other public forum, it is your responsibility to maintain them - not the relatives that you've invited out with you, not the waiting staff, not the people at the next table ... YOU!

While we're on this topic, not everyone at said location thinks that your child causing a racket in the corner 'cause they don't have their favorite toy or didn't get the chocolate dessert or whatever is "just part of kids growing up", nor is it amusing to us when we're on the dance-floor and you're misbegotten spawn runs underfoot and it definitely is not funny when they grab a tablecloth and rip down a table setting! These all affect OUR enjoyment of the evening.

So no more excuses. If you can't or wont look after your spawn, then the answer is simple.
  1. Don't have them. Either utilise contraceptives like the PILL and CONDOMS or simply go get the SNIP. I really don't care which way you go. Just make sure it works.
  2. Give your kids away. They can be adopted out, sold on the black market, sent out to the mines ... the choices are endless.
  3. Join a cult. They always have interesting uses for kids, and also mind altering techniques

... well the list is endless really ... but now it's time for my Xanax.

TTFN

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